Awakening
by moonlit yew
Summary: Post-Ootp. non-slash. After the character death, the 2 ppl most affected find comfort in eachother... with a little help from Dumbledore. fast read - PLZ R/R!!!!!


Disclaimer - J.K. Rowling owns all of Harry Potter, not me.  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
This is my life  
  
its not what it was before  
  
all these feelings I've shared  
  
and these are my dreams  
  
that I've never lived before  
  
somebody shake me  
  
'cause I  
  
I must be sleeping  
  
~~~~~*~~~~~  
  
I don't even know how I made it here. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Nothing does. Dumbledore's talking to me. I know I should be listening but I can't hear him. It's like I'm sleepwalking. I feel so horribly numb and lost. I don't even know what day it is or why I'm sitting in this warm intricate office, in front of Albus, no doubt spouting empty words of advice and comfort.  
  
I stare with no emotion through a curtain of limp graying hair. There's nothing for me here. No wisdom or guidance to be had. Without thinking I stand to leave, swaying slightly from lack of sleep. I turn towards the door and then Albus is right there beside me. I didn't even see him get up from his chair. I look up at him and he squeezes my shoulder gently saying -  
  
"Remus please, hear me out. Sit down and try to relax. There are some important things you need to know." His cool blue eyes are soft and full of compassion. This barely registers in my clouded mind. The only reason I don't leave is because I'm simply too tired to do so. My knees feel weak as I sit back down.  
  
I struggle to focus my attention ahead of me as Dumbledore takes his seat. I notice that as he sits he glances in my direction as if fearing I'll make another escape attempt. I rub my sore eyes with long pale hands and force myself to pay attention.  
  
"Remus, I know you'd rather be alone right now. but I have important news for you,"  
  
I stare blankly back at the old man and wonder what could be so important now. I expect I have a new mission or assignment for the Order. Somehow I doubt I'd be expected to handle anything of real significance in my present state. I must have been really out of sorts if I wasn't even bothering to keep my expression neutral. Because of this Albus saw the skeptical look on my face and sighed in a rather tired and gloomy way.  
  
He looked down at his desk and shook his head saying -  
  
"Ever since your first year at Hogwarts you've had yourself convinced that you are nothing special, nothing extraordinary. I'm sorry Remus, but you are quite mistaken."  
  
"What do you mean?" I ask him. I find myself surprised at the sound of my own voice. It's always been soft but now it's small and hollow - devoid of all life.  
  
"You were near the top of your class here at school - "  
  
"Book-smarts are meaningless." I countered lowly, sickened by the mere thought of those long past happy years here at school. They seem so long ago, so distant, that they may as well have been a dream.  
  
Dumbledore continued speaking as if I hadn't said a thing, an annoying habit he's had for years.  
  
"You handle magical creatures with ease and are one of the most skillful DADA teachers I've seen in many years. You perform a Patronus spell as easily as myself and mastered the art of Occlumency with barely a month of study sessions. Not to mention the children love you. How could they not? You are kind and easy to talk to with a healthy sense of humor. Your calm and agreeable nature draws kids to you. Surely you have realized this before. People trust you almost right as soon as they meet you. Do you know why that is?"  
  
I stare for a minute - stunned by all the praise, and yet refusing in my heart to believe any of it is true. I'm so sick of people lying to me like that. Saying I'm intelligent and caring, telling me everything's fine while my world collapses around me, telling me there is hope when there was never such a thing in my life.  
  
"No ."  
  
"It's because you make people feel safe." Albus concluded simply. But I was confused. I thought there was urgent news to be told.  
  
And so there was a fairly lengthy silence in which I could only think one thing as my patience dissolved into nothing.  
  
"What is the point of this?" I demanded. I wanted nothing more at that moment to collapse into a bed and sleep a dreamless sleep, preferably never waking up at all. Albus looked me squarely in the eyes and spoke with the solidarity of one proclaiming a simple and undeniable truth.  
  
"Remus, you are legally Harry Potter's caretaker. You are his guardian now."  
  
~~~~~~*~~~~~~  
  
A/N - Forgive me if it seems OoC. I've never written Dumbledore or even first person Remus before. Thank you for reading and please review!  
  
I know there are probably many stories out there like this, but I plan on mine being uplifting rather than depressing. Hopefully anyone down about Sirius' death will feel better after reading the final product.  
  
Next chapter - Remus' reaction to the news and he finally wakes from his trance-like state. But he will not wake up gently.  
  
Lyrics I will use throughout the story are by Staind "So Far Away" The words are so fitting to this story I just had to include them, even if only to set the mood some. 


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